I thought I’d design with much passion, color, and PoP since the winter always gifts me with feelings of power and inspiration unlike any other time of the year, and I wish that these were the only things the winter brings for me since I am a winter soul, but this time of the year also brings out some deep unpleasantness, some unease, some sadness, due to shedding old spiritual skin. It makes perfect sense, given that the wisdom from our ancestors teach that winter is time of inner reflection, connecting with our truest state of being, and letting go of what no longer serves us.
In my view we don’t live in the most emotionally healthy, or supportive society here in the western world, and so because of this revelation first from The Most High, and confirmation from resources that I am blessed to have come across I’ve found this newfound journey to getting in touch with my true feeling very exhausting, and I now see how much I have detached myself from them in winters past because subconsciously I just didn’t feel like doing the work of recognizing, truly feeling, and accepting them. Closing doors, and changing light bulbs spiritually is WORK. It is easier to act like a robot, and just walk around pretending to be unaffected by things (both pleasant and unpleasant). I now know it’s ok to feel what I feel, to be intuitive, and to accept my imperfect, complex self COMPLETELY. It is ok to detach from what doesn’t serve me, and thus doesn’t assist me in serving. Saying no to some things, which frees me to say yes to what’s best. This means shifting, shifting, and more shifting. Life won’t be easy, and it won’t be familiar. I’ve never done this before so I am going to make mistakes, and I’m going to lose, and I’m going to gain. I want to remain true to who I am and move forward creating a better world for my spirit to be free as God intended. After all nothing is hidden, we just think we can hide. Society has taught us to try and hide, because it’s “easier” for us to assimilate that way and not “bother” one another, and keep to “business” at hand. The only business I have is being in tune with myself and my Creator.
I know I’ve done myself a great disservice by not trusting my own inner nudges when things didn’t feel right for me, and I have often waited for some additional reason to be happy than just being happy and doing what brings me pure bliss & joy. In the name of “waiting on God to show me” I’ve waited in vain. I no longer hold myself hostage in a shame and fear based belief system thinking I’m doing God a favor, by giving into my own fears and insecurities. I still deal with abandonment issues, and I know this is the root of this tree. It has taken 31 years to grow so I have lots of work to do but I am committed to myself. Even if I am wrong, I can ask for forgiveness. God is the same today, yesterday and forever. He never intended for me to ignore and neglect myself. If nothing else I’m clear that it is for my mental, physical and spiritual health to FEEL. This is what my God-given senses were created to do. I have a right to own what I feel. No more self guilt trips for feeling, whether that’s bliss or the depression. God lights my path, and when I fall He is always there to pick me back up not to sit me in a far-off place and judge me but to hold me, dust me off, reveal to me another lesson to share, and reassure me of the depths of divine love. I am connecting with my inner ambience because I am FREE to be ME. 💝
xoxo| Wishing you Self-Acceptance & Patience