HeArtfirmation|8.13.14

learning

 

Speaking those things… ❤

 

xoxo & Freedom | Alysia

 

 

Submerged in Harmony| The Light. 6.18.14. AD

 

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Below is a diary entry from 2012. I decided to share because the manifestation of the dream Yahweh gave me is coming to pass in this period of my souls journey. Back then was the beginning of my inner-healing journey. Since 2012 I can’t tell you how many tears, pain, doubt, struggle, fear, betrayal, laughter, smiles, kisses, hugs, encouragement & pure bliss has come to me…and this continues. I need all of these experiences, so I embrace them fully. I am a healing-healer. When I had this dream I had no clue this would actualize in my life. All I knew is how real what I saw and felt was. So much has happened that has tempted me to doubt what I was shown.  Today I’m fully submerged, and enjoying this fear-less wonder as I surrender. Water has always had a way of healing me. I’ve been known to take extremely long baths, and I love to swim. lol Water has always had a way of calming me, and oddly I feel very safe in it. I hope that each of you can get a glimpse of what it means to be truly free, fully overtaken by your pursuit of wholeness. It is your birthright. It takes confidence in The Most High and Self to submerge into the harmonious and healthy waters. Harmony means “off-notes” will be involved. It’s ok… “play with your own squishy.” (in the words of Andre 3000) lol And I say allow those things that make no sense become your new normal.  Above all I hope you will be inspired and enlightened.

 

xoxo & Wholeness| Alysia

Submerged

January 23, 2012 at 11:21pm

Earlier this evening I had a dream. I dreamed I was deep in the ocean under the water looking up and I saw the light of the sun gleaming through the crystal blue. For once in my life I didn’t care who was around me. Who was enjoying. Who was pleased, or who saw that light but me. I didn’t care who felt that freedom from the water making me feel weightless but me. I stared at that beam from the sun from under that deep water for about 3 min. I was amazed at how free I was; as it seemed the water enjoyed me. It embraced me. It helped me see clear. I was submerged in something that I enjoy most. Water. I love the ocean. I love to swim. I didn’t rush it and it didn’t rush me. The way the sun shined almost purposefully right above me was surreal. I wasn’t afraid either. I was deep in and had no fear.

 

I made a very challenging decision earlier today. Before I had this dream. I didn’t care if anyone approved, I wasn’t looking for validation for what I felt was right for me for one of the few times in my life. It’s a process that I’m in. This change is life-altering for me. When I woke up from the dream I felt so refreshed and carefree and relaxed, but yet energetic and rejuvenated at the same time.

 

 

I interpret my dream to mean that when I submerge myself into healing relentlessly that’s the place where I find my serenity. Water purges. When I purge my space spiritually, physically and mentally and immerse ME in the new waters, I thrive, I float, I dance. It’s deep and I may look around and see no one, but I am so occupied with this new found freedom, and peace and beauty that it hasn’t hit me nor have I stopped to even looked around. Reality is it’s not necessary to. My path is one that only I can travel. I never ran out of breath under the ocean. I didn’t panic. The wide ocean space was not a concern (and I normally have a fear of wide open spaces). When I see that the waters are so deep that I am light, and carefree and I see light above me; which represents my heavenly father, I know I’m in the right place.

 

 

FEEL. |Connecting with My Inner Ambience

FEEL.

I thought I’d design with much passion, color, and PoP since the winter always gifts me with feelings of power and inspiration unlike any other time of the year, and I wish that these were the only things the winter brings for me since I am a winter soul, but this time of the year also brings out some deep unpleasantness, some unease, some sadness, due to shedding old spiritual skin. It makes perfect sense, given that the wisdom from our ancestors teach that winter is time of inner reflection, connecting with our truest state of being,  and letting go of what no longer serves us.

In my view  we don’t live in the most emotionally healthy, or supportive society here in the western world, and so because of this revelation first from The Most High, and confirmation from resources that I am blessed to have come across I’ve found this newfound journey to getting in touch with my true feeling very exhausting, and I now see how much I have detached myself from them in winters past because subconsciously I just didn’t feel like doing the work of recognizing, truly feeling, and accepting them. Closing doors, and changing light bulbs spiritually is WORK. It is easier to act like a robot, and just walk around pretending to be unaffected by things (both pleasant and unpleasant).  I now know it’s ok to feel what I feel, to be intuitive, and to accept my imperfect, complex self COMPLETELY. It is ok to detach from what doesn’t serve me, and thus doesn’t assist me in serving. Saying no to some things, which frees me to say yes to what’s best. This means shifting, shifting, and more shifting. Life won’t be easy, and it won’t be familiar. I’ve never done this before so I am going to make mistakes, and I’m going to lose, and I’m going to gain.  I want to remain true to who I am and move forward creating a better world for my spirit to be free as God intended.  After all nothing is hidden, we just think we can hide. Society has taught us to try and hide, because it’s “easier” for us to assimilate that way and not “bother” one another, and keep to “business” at hand. The only business I have is being in tune with myself and my Creator.

I know I’ve done myself a great disservice by not trusting my own inner nudges when things didn’t feel right for me, and  I have often waited for some additional reason to be happy than just being happy and doing what brings me pure bliss & joy.  In the name of “waiting on God to show me” I’ve waited in vain. I no longer hold myself hostage in a shame and fear based belief system thinking I’m doing God a favor, by giving into my own fears and insecurities. I still deal with abandonment issues, and I know this is the root of this tree. It has taken 31 years to grow so I have lots of work to do but I am committed to myself. Even if I am wrong, I can ask for forgiveness. God is the same today, yesterday and forever. He never intended for me to ignore and neglect myself. If nothing else I’m clear that it is for my mental, physical and spiritual health to FEEL. This is what my God-given senses were created to do. I have a right to own what I feel. No more self guilt trips for feeling, whether that’s bliss or the depression. God lights my path, and when I fall He is always there to pick me back up not to sit me in a far-off place and judge me but to hold me, dust me off, reveal to me another lesson to share, and reassure me of the depths of divine love. I am connecting with my inner ambience because I am FREE to be ME. 💝

xoxo| Wishing you Self-Acceptance & Patience

 Alysia.

Giving My True Self A Chance | Self Love 101

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I’ve sought love, peace and acceptance everywhere. I consistently found myself on winding roads, and in ditches, even in some head on collisions; of which, some were nearly fatal, BUT as always, God stepped in, destiny stepped in, and here I am today.

I remember studying people, to see what I could do to mimic them, in hopes that this would finally deliver me from the soul aches, and starvation I was experiencing. In hopes that they would “like” me, and I would finally find some sense of true belonging. After attempting this several times, in several relationships in my life I found myself triple-minded (This is a personal term of mines (lol) meaning I was confused, and didn’t know my beginning from my end. It felt as though each time this occurred, one thing was consistent- and that was I disliked myself a bit more than the last time, I judged myself a bit harder, and I was devastated more, as if I had not been down that winding road before. I had analyzed each circumstance to be completely separate and unrelated, until I woke up. I then recognized how each fall had the same underlying “slip”, if that makes sense. I recall an African Proverb that says ‘Don’t look where you fell, look where you slipped.” Each time, without fail when God was trying to give me solitude, and an opportunity for self-discovery, and healing it seemed that on the other hand there was opportunity for a new relationship platonically, or romantically. Out of my fears, and trying get quick fixes, you already know which option I chose each and every time.

I believe I had to go through those things, even in my free will for my soul to learn that health of my life depends on being single minded, and settling into ME. Once I planted myself, and decided to accept me I began to take root. I knew I had taken root, because things that would have traditionally moved me, maybe made me sway, but I remained. Over time I began to like this feeling of being Alysia. Being focused, and doing the hard work of self-discovery, and self-acceptance. In the beginning of this phase I remember literally asking God to send me butterflies, ladybugs, bees, and all. I wish I still had the Facebook post so I could show you proof. (LOL)  Of course this was my metaphoric imagination speaking to God. I knew I need to be pollenated correctly, I knew I needed a new life. As I matured and began to blossom, it seems as though everything came to me. My bees, my water, my ladybug friends, everything. I learned if nothing else that when you are still in yourself, and you trust who you are created to be, everything falls into place. You don’t have to chase, you don’t have to beg or plea. Ever seen a flower move? 🙂

Since I’ve been through so much in my short time here, it takes everything in me to stay still. Not physically, but sustaining a posture of psycho-spiritual rest. Some days it takes things that I don’t possess. I have learned to seek out what I don’t have that will keep me where I need to be.   Today, I choose me because God chose to manifest me in this time, space, and place for a divine purpose. A purpose that no other soul can fulfill. I have the courage to tell you, please give yourself a chance if you’ve been running from YOU. Nothing else can help you sleep at night. Stillness causes you to see things you have never seen before. Even on a “regular” day, nothing looks the same twice. It’s beautiful, it’s scary, it’s liberating, it’s painful, soul wrenching, yet soul quenching. The love you will begin to FEEL won’t compare to any other relationship. I’m married, and happily for 3 years and I can say I still choose ME. I hope this encourages you.

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Discussion: “What Is Peace”| 5.23.13.☕

innerHello love bugs, I’ve missed you so much!! The blog is still on Spring Break, but anyone who knows me knows breaks aren’t my strong point. *shrugs* Since there won’t be regular posting on the blog until June 21st, I thought it would be a perfect time to do some Blog Talk Radio segments. I’m challenging myself to be more open about my journey, and this is a great place to start.

 

I invite you to join me on 5.23.13. @ 6:30 PM ET, for my second segment of the year on Blog Talk Radio. To listen in dial (646) 929-0060. This discussion is entitled “What Is Peace?” As a brown girl on my journey of overcoming codependency, low self-esteem and depression I’ve gotten to place where I’ve discovered my inner peace. I would like to share with you what that is for me. Some people don’t know where to begin, so this segment will offer tips, encouragement, and the both the ups and downs one may experience while breaking free from codependency, and finding peace from my perspective.

I hope you choose to join me!

Don’t forget in the midst of the hiatus we can still connect on twitter!

xoxo

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My Most Popular Tumblr Post: Beliefs Of People Pleasers

Beliefs of people pleasers

Oh Happy Day everyone!!

I thought I’d share with you the tumblr post that got me exactly 111 re-blogs. I’m still surprised each time I get the notification. I need that. It reminds me to re-red the post and re-evaluate myself. A win-win. I came across this list in an article I was reading over at Voicelessness.com a couple of months back, and I thought I’d share it on my tumblr. I hope this list is helpful, and click the voicelessness.com hyper-link above for the article this list was taken from, and more helpful information!  xoxo

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Her Heart Matters Blog Talk Radio: 4.25.13❤❤

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I hope everyone is having a peaceful night.

I  formally invite the ladies in my blog family to join me on Thursday, April 25, 2013 at 6:30 PM ET for a 30-minute segment hosted by Her Heart Matters. The topic is “30’s Journey: From Walking on Eggshells to Walking on Water”.  I will be sharing some of my most intimate lessons, hardships, and triumphs in transitioning as an African woman from my 20’s into my 30’s. I’m newly 30, only 4 months in. Between my last year of being in my 20’s and this year, so far has been a roller-coaster ride! I would like to give insight, and share experiences. No matter what age you are, as a woman you will be able to relate and I believe you will enjoy this episode. Please have a cup of raw juice in a wine glass ready! (I’ll have mines!) lol I can’t wait to share, and I hope you join in on the discussion! The link is blogtalkradio.com/her-heart-matters. Fellas I’ll have to plan something for you guys soon! I haven’t forgotten about you, and I thank you for your continued support. xoxo

Sweet Dreams,

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Heart Memo #1 ✉ Rest in Your Best.

 

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It came to me this week to revisit false burden bearing in my daily meditations. The “Heart Memo” you see above is one of the affirmations I created for you all. I hope you heart it! ❤❤

It’s so easy to get over-burdened in the name of love, care and concern. It’s easy to get off track in the name of a lot of things, actually. LoL

I’m realizing the importance of resting in my responsibilities and my best. In order to be loving and affirming to myself I also have to remind myself of what’s not mines. I’m a “gotta get it done” type of person, which blurs the lines at times of what’s mines to take care of and what’s not. In the name of “get it done” I have often crossed the line of carrying more than my weight, unconsciously all for an outcome that I wanted to see, and then complain about it after I’ve “done all the work” and the desired outcome had not been achieved.  This is where resentment gets a foothold. Resentment is prevented when I accept my limits, let go of what’s not mines to fix, and release obsessing over outcomes.

Often we can forget that there are ways and plans that are wiser than ours. God’s ways and plans. Dis-ease forms and manifests in our spirits, souls and bodies when we don’t want to deeply accept what we cannot change. Acceptance is from the heart, not the mind. I know this first had. Things I “thought” I accepted in reality I hadn’t because in subtle ways I was obsessing over what could have been done and what I believe should have been done. I was trying to bear what wasn’t mines and in doing so I was keeping myself in bondage.

My life goal is to do my best and leave the rest in God’s hands. It’s called surrender. We were not built to try to figure everything out, and carry around the cares of others. We  are accountable to others but only FOR ourselves. Carrying false burdens means carrying around what doesn’t belong to us. It’s natural to help others, but it’s unnatural to consume ourselves with the lives of others. I’ve resigned from trying to climb up on God’s throne about a year ago, but like everyone else I’m human and old habits don’t die easy. I can’t. I have long arms and legs, but they aren’t that long. 🙂 I have a  heart and I am able to love but I am not LOVE only God IS LOVE. Being a good Steward comes from setting healthy boundaries.

I am learning to prioritize cultivating my own happiness and joy and guarding my thoughts. I have decided to not be easily moved. Loving myself means releasing. The highest act of humility is casting my cares upon God. The highest act of self- love is staying true to my identity, and not losing myself in anything.

Here are some quotes that I’ve come across in my meditations for this week:

“To the extent the child in us has not trusted God with our own wounds, we will not trust God with the wounds of others, and we will try to become their savior.”

“In your serving of others, if there is driven-ness or fear, frustration or resentment, or a martyr or messiah complex, there could be false burden bearing.”

“Aren’t you glad that you aren’t God? Your responsibility is to offer what He gives you. We can’t change anyone or make anyone do anything.”

” Since we are not in control of the universe, it would be unfair for God to hold us responsible for it.”

 

Remember, God’s yoke is easy and His burdens are light! Matthew 11:28-30

 

Peace and Serenity,

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interior design. a life of transformation.☎☕

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#NP Kersha Bailey ~ “Try Again”

Peaceful Rising!

I hope you like my interior design set! I was just thinking red and black, so I went with it. Anyone who knows me personally knows how much I love Angela Simmons, for so many reasons. I love the way her apartment looked in NYC well I guess LA now. I know she relocated. I saw some pics of her apartment and she had some pops of red and some sleek black going on and it was still soft because of the elements used. So I guess subconsciously my love for her spot inspired this set someway. I’ve never been huge on red, but I guess I love it now. This set just had to have some element of pink in there or it just wouldn’t be me. This is my space. I decorated it with no one else but me in mind. I’m married, so some of these items probably wouldn’t be welcomed, especially my pillows. lol MEN. SMH lol

I’m always reflecting. I am an “inner vision” type of person so-to-speak. I was thinking about what I cherish and value around me, what I like to see manifested, not in a couch or a piece of art but maybe like what color I want my spirit to show or what it would take to revamp my inner world to be what I would consider truly beautiful, honorable and well ME. I love to design both interior and fashion and I think where I am mentally and emotionally always reflects in what I create. Maybe this is why I decided to do an interior design set. 🙂 I have been on this journey of transformation and renovation, and just recently I made some decisions that got me off track. This, as well as not realizing how much hard work goes into maintaining my changes was a blow to my little ego and spirit. Just like with a home space, you can buy all new fixtures, furniture, wall-paintings and stuff you want. Reality is it takes work to rid your space of the old and bring in the new, AND to properly maintain the new. I’m learning.

Life is just one huge continuous interior design project. The work is learning to maintain the new changes. I realize it’s just a matter of how bad I truly want change. The age of 29 going into 30 showed me that all of my changes wouldn’t be applauded or even acknowledged by others, so in reality outside of GOD I’m an audience of one. Stepping out of people-pleasing and just trying to be to say I’m a good person for others into yeah sometimes I get angry, yes sometimes I will make mistakes, I hurt, sometimes I want to be alone, yes I am happy at times even if everyone else is frowning, yes I do love what I love, agree with what I will and disagree at times and I will be ok with me. My journey is teaching me what it really means to love myself and appreciate my uniqueness. It’s also shown me the level of energy, inspiration, steadfastness and dedication I have to cultivate on this journey to my best self. Lastly, this journey has also shown me the importance of having a solid relationship with YAHWEH. My creator my Lord, King, my everything. 🙂  Well, I’m learning something new each day. I hope you all stick around for more snapshots of the journey.

I want to urge you to be strong in yourself and embrace life’s transitions. You won’t be the same person you were last year or two years ago if you don’t choose to be. It’s ok to strive for a different, healthier and honorable you. Sometimes we try to hold on in attempts to correct a wrong. Forgive yourself deeply and the next time the same opportunity comes you have another chance. If it doesn’t at least you learned something valuable to pass on. Change can be scary because we don’t always know the outcome. Most often we fear others reactions or lack-thereof. If it’s YOU who this change is really for ask GOD to help you and begin your journey!

Light & Joy

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PS! A VERY SPECIAL HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SISTER DEBRA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU ENDLESSLY!!!!!!❤❤❤❤❤